I feel sad. I think I'll be leaving this blog.

My new one's up at sevengem.pitas.com. It's a simpler site, less fancy features, but I'm getting the feel of it. Anyway, everyone vamooska and note me there.

Comment
Link This Entry

I signed up for a new blog this morning. If it works better than this one, I'll post the link to it here and delete this one after a month. I plan to save all posts on my hard drive, and eventually print them.

Hello, Adam! (waves) I hope you're having a good time in class.

Also, Sneeches freak me out. Seriously. I think I was traumatized by Dr. Seuss videos as a kid.

Comment
Link This Entry

Blogger's got some serious problems. Sites not loading, images not loading, blogs not connecting to stylesheets.... It pisses me off. So much that I'm debating abandoning this blog, and making my LiveJournal my primary site journal. I'll save the template layout, so if I ever decide to sign up for a new blog at this site, it'll look like I want it to again; I won't have to start all over, modified an ugly default template.

http://www.kazaaplatinum.com keeps setting itself as my start page. What an annoyance! Every time I get a Kazaa Platinum pop-up, it asks if I'd like to set it as my start page, and I click No, but it does it anyway! Urgh... some ads are just tooooo pushy.

I'm in a skirt again today. It's one I found lying on my bed yesterday when I got home from school. It was left in my sister's closet and my mother thought I might like to have it. It's knee-length, stretchy/clingy, slit up the left side to about mid-thigh, and a gorgeous, glittery, iridescent blue. I paired it with a black ruffle tank top, black legwarmers, and black sandals. Oh, I know I'm a fashion disaster, but I love it.

I took pictures this morning but, unfortunately, forgot to bring to school the cable that lets me download pictures from my camera to my laptop, so, you'll have to wait for those, if any of them turn out.

My old friend Corrie called last night and we talked for three hours. It was lovely. I think I'd grown away from her because of my then-hard opinions on one aspect of her lifestyle (she likes the bars, and at one time I was a judgmental sXe kid), but it genuinely didn't bother me last night. Yay me for growing up and accepting people.

Tomorrow's Thursday. I get to see Joel. I miss him so much these days... and please don't misinterpret that as something romantic, Adam. It's just that... since "all the shit," I've not only lost him as whatever more than a friend he was to me, but I've kind of cut him off as a friend, too. Feeling it's necessary to heal both my monkeypie Adam and myself. (Side note: Adam and I have developed the weirdest, dorkiest, cutesiest teasing nicknames for each other in the past few weeks. A few I've given him: cutieface, monkeybutt, weiner pie, and the aforementioned.) I don't know... I just kind of miss feeling permitted to hug him, and time together like that day we mucked around in his brook.

I also get to see Brock Lesnar tomorrow. (superdrool)

Oh: I bought these, and they're on their way. Zebra print and mesh. They were just too "me!" to resist. I hope they fit.

Comment
Link This Entry

I've been motivated less and less to even give the appearance of paying attention in class. I despise Java programming. I should have dropped out of this course when the web-design element ended and the application-development branch began. I don't want to program - it's boring. Staring at lines and lines of code with certain words in different colours, hunting for the cause of a not-in-the-least-bit-helpful error message.... Yawn.

So the past couple of days I've been working on a new layout for my site and this blog, since they use the same stylesheet, and it's now up on both. I succeeded in greatly simplifying my stylesheet, which I'll have you know is now 9KB, down from 12KB. I've given the menus their own stylesheet, which will probably come to be more of an ailment than a cure. But anyway, go have a look and let me know what you think. As always, the link is at the top of this page.

More good news: Guess what finally came in the mail for me? I'm wearing it today, with the cozy burgundy lightweight bell-sleeve sweater I got for my birthday, calf-high black socks, and black platform shoes. My stripy skirt! Adam took pics of me in it last night, but they show my stomach, which I hate, so I'll either post them later when I can edit them without Tom behind me seeing my screen, or I'll wait for better ones.

That gives me hope for the arrival of the spiked armwarmers, since the skirt was only coming from Arizona, while the spikies are coming from New Zealand.

Even glancing at my previous entry embarrasses me. Yikes. I lost my mind.
But, I left it there. It at least proves that the boy makes me feel the extreme of everything I feel for him.

Comment
Link This Entry

Adam has decided, out of NOWHERE, to be a SHIT to me today.

FINE, WHATEVER. AND IF YOU LOVE STEPHANIE SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK AND MARRY HER OR MELISSA OR WHOEVERTHEFUCKELSE. It's not like she didn't cheat on you, too. And I'm suuure you'd have so much better a relationship with Melissa. Sure, you can "rely" on her, but could you so much as look at another person of the female sex? HAHAHA! You find my political rants annoying now, but just you wait until all you get to hear about is Chad Kroeger.

Quit switching sides. It fucks me up. AUGH!!! I am so frustrated and pissed off right now I could fuckin' KILL myself!!!!! GODDAMN IT I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!! PISS OFF ON CALLING ME A WHORE AND A BITCH!!!!! I KNOW THAT SHIT!!!!! QUIT CHANGING YOUR MIND AS TO HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME!!!!! AND IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE SO FUCKIN' BAD JUST GET THE FUCK LOST AND LEAVE ME TO COLLECT MY SANITY!!!!! Augh, you fucking drive me INSANE!

I can't even express these feelings. My brain feels like it's BOILING. AUGH!!!!!

I apologize for the overuse of exclamation points. I felt they were necessary to emphasize how fucking insane I feel. I've reverted to the sentence-structure skills of a twelve-year-old on AOL. That's how insane I feel.

Comment
Link This Entry

This is a reflection of me from the mirror above my driver's seat. How did I get this picture? Rest assured you'll find no paper copy. This was the second photo to grace the memory of my new digital camera.

I'm still feeling it out, so a lot of the pictures I take are either blurry or dark or both, but, this one turned out.





I finally found the setting that gets rid of grain from my webcam stills, so future shots of me will benefit. My hair looks like crap today. I plan to dye the front strips blue or fuchsia, most likely some day this coming week.

My old friend, and Adam's ex, "Jive" dropped a card into my mailbox on my birthday. Inside the card was a recent photo of her and a folded sheet of white paper. The sheet was a letter in the form of a poem. The basic gist was that she's never going to feel as though I didn't betray her, but that she wants us to start over from scratch and be friends again.

All nice, but that bit about betraying her. That makes me angry. I wonder how she thinks I betrayed her. By going out with a guy she'd dumped more times than I can count, most recently about four years ago now, and with whom she'd never gone further than hand-holding?

I don't know what to respond with, or if I even want to.

Comment
Link This Entry

Fear my nineteen-ness, biatch! Actually, I won't be nineteen until 1:14 this afternoon, 12:14 EST, but, I don't care.

I opened some birthday gifts this morning. I'm so pleased with them all! I got:

• A clingy, lightweight burgundy sweater with slit bell sleeves and keyhole neckline decorated with hanging brown velvet ribbon strung with wooden beads, which I am wearing;
  
• An interactive two-CD-ROM set for learning Sign language;
  
• vanilla lotion and cologne, the latter of which I am also wearing;
  
• one pair black-and-purple hatch-pattern socks;
  
• sessy black underwear (sly grin);
  
• three metres of dark grey cat-fur print fabric, to be used on a new pair of flare-leg pants;
  
• three Harlequins (or "pervert books," as I call them), a Words of Wisdom After Graduation guide, tea lights and a silver dragonfly-shaped holder for them, from my sister.
  

Comment
Link This Entry

I know you totally don't want to know, but, I want to bitch that my boobs hurt. And no, it's not, as Joey joked, because I played with them too much. I suspect it's because I'm (hopefully temporarily) off of birth control (I ran out of pills).

My classmate Selena is bringing cake to school tomorrow for my birthday! People are so sweet to me.... Reading Adam's blog entry in particular made me feel all warm and loved. I've got a buttload of wrapped gifts from my mom waiting on the table for me upstairs. I'll open some of them tomorrow, and some Friday, the day I've postponed my birthday supper to.

Happy birthday to meee.... Haha, I'll be legal, and you'll be a number younger than me again, Joel. (sticks out tongue)

Comment
Link This Entry

I was poking Adam in the mouth this morning and he kept randomly sticking out his tongue and licking my finger. Hehe, what a cutie. He and I were snuggling on the white nude-model stage in his classroom a couple of hours ago. He's so pleasant to snuggle... so unbelievably comfortable, and his hands are always so soft.

Speaking of school, I graduate in exactly a month. September eighth, I am due to start my ten-week work placement required to fully complete this course. I haven't even begun looking for a job. I don't even want one. Screw programming. If I get a ten-week placement that requires me to do that, I'll suffer out the ten weeks, get my certificate of completion or what have you, and leave this career field in my dust.

I dropped my laptop case at home this morning and nearly snapped my outthrust network card in half. Thankfully, only the casing bent and mangled itself. The card, so far, is working fine. I fixed it up a little this morning, snapped down half of the casing that had peeled up at the top right corner. I hope I'm able to fix it up more, or at least that I don't have to return it at the end of the year. I'll probably start leaving it at school from now on.

A mommy deer and two fawns were grazing in the field behind my house this morning. To my shock, I actually woke up in good spirits and well-rested, and this only made me feel better.

I added a whole whack of stuff to my eBay Watch list. I think I may bid on these armwarmers. Fucking awesome. I love zebra print and mesh. I might also bid on this spiked collar, and I think I'll eventually get this spiked headband.

Comment
Link This Entry

I cried twice yesterday. One time Adam and I were doing wrestling moves and his shoulder hurt the inside of my thigh. The other time I stubbed my little toe on the metal leg of a chair so hard it hurt all evening and my pretty black toenail polish came off.

Comment
Link This Entry